What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
