Dark Humor
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.