Dark Humor
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging!
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.