Dark Humor
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
This humor is so dark, it's darker than the Black population.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*