Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian I ask her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better
My gf left me for spending my own money I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute she leaves me
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam
Doctor: Yup
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor
whats the pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy story *i got a friend in me*
My dad smashed my PS5. So I smashed his wife.
"Just say no to drugs!" well, if i'm talking to my drugs, i probably already said yes
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1:God,I can only imagine what was going through those kids heads in the last moments of their lives... Person 2:Probably Bullets Person 1:OMG!!Can you even think of what their parents are going through?! Person 2:Probably Coffin Brochures Person 1:.... Person 2:Its called dark humor.Dark humor is like food,not everyone gets it.
Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common? Both are sick and twisted
. Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Q: why can’t orphans be criminals
A: they are not wanted
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Before jane, was tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?
