Dark Humor
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.