My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.