Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
A man was taking a young child into the woods.
The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."
The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
