Danger jokes
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
The toaster;
otherwise known as, the ultimate bath bomb.
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."