How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
What’s worse than running with scissors? Scissoring With the runs
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
"Hold my beer, watch this."
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who play Pumpes Up Kicks at max Volume
I am the danger
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
