Danger jokes
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Memes
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
Bomb.
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.