Danger jokes
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Bomb.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.