Danger Jokes

Roses are red, fishers are fishing,

I really hope you’ll be reported missing.

Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.

I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now I live in constant fear.

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

The image shows a four-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Wanda, I wish I had spider-man powers." The second panel shows Wanda, a fairy character with pink hair, looking distressed and saying, "Noooooo, Timmy, that's dangerous, you could put at risks all of humanity." In the third panel, the same male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Cosmo, I wish to change the mass of the proton." The fourth panel shows Cosmo, a fairy character with green hair, smiling and saying, "LOL, Great idea, Timmy, let's see what happens."

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.

Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?

Everywhere.

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

What's a knife's favorite person?

The victim.

Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"

Mom: "He got inside a white van."

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Bomb.

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

How many times does 47 fit into 9?

Get in the van and find out.

When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

What's the hardest thing to do?

Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"