Danger

Danger jokes

Wood

    • A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

    The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

    Drug

    • Man: *steals drink*

    Boy: bro😭😭

    Man: Why are u crying over a drink?

    Boy: That had drugs.

    Man: ....

    Mother

    • Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.

    She responded with a list:

    - Take out the trash.

    - Clean your room.

    - Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.

    That’s all sweetie!

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    • Pedophile

    • A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."

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    • Danger memes

    Hamster

    • What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

    Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

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    • Fire

    • Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

    A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

    Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

    Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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    • Baby

    • What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?

    They both make noise when you throw them.

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    • Friend

    • My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

    Me: Yea-

    My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

    Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

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    • Idiot

    • Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

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    • Brother

    • Kid: Mom! You lied to me!

    Mom: When?

    Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!

    Mom: Sooo?

    Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?

    Mom: WHAT!!!??!!

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