Danger jokes
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Memes
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
Bomb.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.