Danger jokes

Roses are red, fishers are fishing,

I really hope you’ll be reported missing.

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

Man: *steals drink*

Boy: bro😭😭

Man: Why are u crying over a drink?

Boy: That had drugs.

Man: ....

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

It was a breathtaking experience.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.

Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?

Everywhere.

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.

What's a knife's favorite person?

The victim.

Bomb.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"

Mom: "He got inside a white van."

How many times does 47 fit into 9?

Get in the van and find out.

What's the hardest thing to do?

Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!