Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
The fact that am high won't stop me from advising u😳😳 Don't plug ur phone while charging it is very dengeros 🤣🛌
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your sibblings. (Put the knives away >:)
One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
