Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
"Hold my beer, watch this."
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
MISSING!!
MISSING!!
Name: Ghostiano Penaldo
Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium
Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".
Last found - Practicing tap ins.
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.
Might be dangerous towards good players.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender.
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
