Dad

Dad jokes

Fence

Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.

Son

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?

Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.

Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly.

Sex

Dad fucked Mom.

Mom fucked son.

Son fucked sister.

Sister fucked dog.

Dog fucked cat.

Cat fucked bird.

Bird fucked fish.

Fish fucked Dad.

Dad really liked it!

Memes

Sex

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

Sex

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

Lamb

Mary had a little lamb.

Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!

Accident

My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!

Ladder

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

Bullying

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

Police

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

Milk

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!

Milk

Dad: Son, I came back.

Son: Where is the milk?

Dad: Time for another 10 years.