Dad jokes

Dad, I love you.

Son, I love you.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?

Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

What's the difference between you and your sister?

Your dad.

My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.

A lot of the time he will take things for granite.

A lot of counter-offers were made.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

Ur dad

Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

Batman: I’m vengeance.

Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.

Batman: ...

Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.

I think my dad loves jokes.

Because he laughs when he looks at me.