Dad jokes

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?

Ur dad

Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

POV: Your dad is gone.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad. LMAO.