Dad jokes
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.