Dad jokes

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

Dad, I love you.

Son, I love you.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!

Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

What's the difference between you and your sister?

Your dad.

POV: Your dad is gone.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad. LMAO.

Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.