Dad

Dad jokes

Vibrator

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Family

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

State

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Memes

Fat

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Crowbar

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Friend

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

Milk

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Monster

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

Ball

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Username

You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!

Child

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

Twin

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.

Family

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

Orphan

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

Day

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Milk

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅