Dad jokes

What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Where can you find the most dads?

Milk Island.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!

Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Natyourcheese.

Natyourcheese who?

Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!

I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!

I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.

Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

Batman: I’m vengeance.

Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.

Batman: ...

Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.

Just ask your dad.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.