My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Dad Jokes
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
