Dad

Dad jokes

Difference

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

Memes

Friend

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

Arson

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Condom

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

Monster

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

Gay

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

Pov

POV: Your dad is gone.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad. LMAO.

Pig

What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!

Orphan

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

Monster

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

Milk

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Orphan

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

Child

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

Family

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.