Dad Jokes

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Orphan: I'm hungry.

Dad: Let's go to KFC.

Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!

I think my dad loves jokes.

Because he laughs when he looks at me.

Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?

Dad: . . .

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

Ur dad

Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!

Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.

Dad, I love you.

Son, I love you.

What's the difference between you and your sister?

Your dad.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.