Dad Jokes

why did my dad leave me and my mum?

i told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying daddy yeeeees

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

SON: DAD HOW WAS I BORN

DAD: YOUR MUMS A HOE

SON: OK WHATS A HOE

DAD: YOUR MUM

We have Build-A-Bear meanwhile Orphans have Build-A-Mom or if they’d rather Build-A-Dad

what's the difference between u your uncle your dad one didn't go in the closet

So i was in school and the was number saying 696969 so i said to my mother what dose. It mean she said, YOUR FUCKING DAD AND I

my step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work, I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital

Friend: my mum took my phone from me and i really want it back me: yeh, well Hades took my parents from me and the funny thing is, i don't want them back

There are 2 dads and 2 sons they all caught a fish, Why did they only come home with 3 fish? (Answer) There were a grand-dad- dad- and son. If you don't get then it means grand father is the dad to the dad(1 dad) dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather, Get it?

Where did ur dad go??? cause i saw him at the milkshop oh wait there isnt one

kid: Dad wear do u work dad: I.C.U.P kid:HAHAHAH!!!! SEE YOU PEE

What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John & Jane Doe

My dad is like a unicorn He's never here. :c

I would tell you a story of my dad...If I knew who he was.

When u go to ur girlfriends house but accidentally go into her dads room and fuck him anyway

You look like your mom and your dad had a child

if yall gotta crush on me tell me now before my dad spends my valentines money on crack and alcohol

A man's daughter comes home from school and asked her dad if she can borrow the car. The father replies, no its too late at night. The daughter says cmon dad. I'll do anything. The dad says OK suck my dick. The daughter says no that's disgusting. The dad says you want the car. You said you'll do anything. The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth. She stops and says eww dad your dick smells like shit. The dad replies yeah well your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago.