Dad jokes
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Memes
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their dad.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
Imagine not having a dad.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.