Dad jokes
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their dad.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Imagine not having a dad.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.