Dad jokes
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their dad.
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.