Dad jokes

What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.

Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

Years later:

Dad still did not come back.

Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?

... S'warm!

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the milk.

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣

Why did the son go to the store?

To find his dad.

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.