DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth

I’ve never seen my dad since September 11, I wonder where he is…

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words :Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.

If you have a twin sister do you have the same name? Only if you’re mom and dad give you the same name

Son - Dad I’ve been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class Dad - Son that’s the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn’t for you!

whats the diffrence between my dad and the milk man

the milk man comes back with the god damn milk

People joke about 9/11, but its not funny My dad died in 9/11

Best pilot in Saudia Arabia

Someone came to me and said “your dad is gay”. I just said “wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!”

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Your moms my dad. think about that

Son: Hi Dad, I’m Son Dad: Hi Son, I’m Leaving You

Years later: Dad still did not come back

This isn’t a joke my dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago he still hasn’t returned should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year

When you say to your dad … AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! DAD BE LIKE … WHO WANTS MY SON NAN BE LIKE ME KID BE LIKE …AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX WHAT ARE ROUX SAYS NAN UM THERE YOUR LIFE SAVINGS NAN BE LIKE LETS GET SOME ROUX

You wonder and you wonder grandma said you better go to bed now tell your dad and grandpa the and your dad and your mom

Bob: Kanye West Dad: No but I can East

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn’t pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: “You told me to aim up high”.

joe: are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: well they were until i murdered them over a bottle of pringles

joe: oh so you are an orphan, and a murderer

what does your mum have in common with your dad? they are both men

My dad always used to beat me but he never beat cancer

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