I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way it really ruined her birthday.
My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
Once my dad left to get milk then I realized we own a cow.
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too.
By:Xzavier
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose? Dad: because a rose landed on your head. Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy? Dad: because a daisy landed on your head. Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr! Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal...
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
By:Xzavier
I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal, oh wait you dad never came back with the milk
can we stop talking about 911 i lost my dad in it
he was a great pilot
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: we don't want him
Orphan: And I took that, Personally-
My credit card is more declined the the love from my dad
My dad told me that his dreams were shatterd a few years ago
Then i asked him how many years ago
He replied with ”when were you born?”
Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick
My dad and cancer go into a fight never saw my dad after that
Dad: ok son if you fail this test your no longer my child ok Son: ok dad AFTER TEST Dad: hay son how'd the test go? Son: son?
roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone to
