Dad jokes

Why did the Dad cross the road?

To get the milk.

How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.

How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.

How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.

Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.

Why do orphans have gross cakes?

Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.

Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?

A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.

What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."