Dad jokes

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?

A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.

What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Why did the kid cry?

His dad didn't get the milk.

Why did the Dad cross the road?

To get the milk.

Why do orphans have gross cakes?

Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.