Dad jokes
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”