Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
