Dad jokes
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.