Dad jokes

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"

He waited for three hours to get an answer.

His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

The only joke my dad ever made was me.

What did Little Johnny say to his dad?

Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.