22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. 24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back. 31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
"Dad what is 69?" asks son Dad: Well son, it a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally. Son: So what shall I write? Odd or even.
My dad went for the milk but he left his wheelchair
Kid: Dad whats a dark joke? Dad: well you see that guy over there? tell him to wave. Kid: but dad im blind. Dad: exactly, also the dude had no arm
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both cant be found
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I would I new life but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum, joke's on him, I have two dads.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
What does Myspace And My Dad has in common? I havent seen them in a while
Yo dad's so stupid he came back after he got the milk.
Mom: son where is my condoms son: what are condoms DAD: she puts it on me and the sandwich son: wait why did my girlfriend come over and take one dad: um I don't know but go to bed son: but it's 2:46pm in the afternoon bruh
Yo, dad so stupid he brought the milk after 2 years and he said oh sorry son in a go back to the store bye.
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi arabias best pilot
I have an Uncle named ricky, who made ur mom sticky, His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky
a teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favourite football team is saying "raise you hand if it is Scunthorpe" every student but one raised their hand. the teacher asks "why don't you support Scunthorpe?" the child answers "my parents support Grimsby and so do I". the teacher comes back with "why are you copying your parents? what if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" the child answers then i'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards"
Dad: no Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
WHY DID DAD SAY NO TO THE POOL BECUS HE CAN'T SWIM
