My dads the oldest and when he was young he shot my grandpas balls off but I thought about it how does my dad have younger brothers
My Dad said he got me from the Shops and I remembered what grandpa said about him
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus? It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope. 🍆😆😌😬😮💨😬
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there" the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked "do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" the boy replied " "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing" said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "you never told me that you were so religious" the boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist"
What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?
My dad brought the drugs back not the milk tho😭
Why did mommy disapear: the dad: well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
My dad brought me some sunglasses but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk but I could never find him
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said “ That was the sound of the north wind. The next day his teacher asked the class “ What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
My dad is Aal-Qaeda and he even took a plane trip to new york in 2001.
Kid: Dad where are you going
Dad: To get milk
TEN YEARS LATER
Kids friend: wheres your dad
Kid: he went to get milk but never came back
Lil Johnny went to school said teacher if you let me poop my pants I will let you have my dad and his money will you do it Mrs.Johnson
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
Family all eating at the table Brother: hmm I think I feel gold Sister: stop the cap Brother look under the table and says “ nope just a gold digger” Dad laughed Step mom storms out of the room
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said "Big whale, big whale."
Sunday Monday Tuesday What The Fuck Saturday
what did nemos dad say "man hes alot like my dad, i can never find him"
Dad: Alive Brother:orphan(fault=Mother) Me:dead on the inside but sadly alive Mother:Alive... Wait a minute.. I thought you were dead mom.. right your dead to me atleast.
