Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
Dad Jokes
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Your mom is gay, just like your dad.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Hungry: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.
Hungry: Why did you name me like this? :/
Your dad is your mom.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
