Dad jokes

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.

What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"

Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.

Roses are red.

My soul is black.

I am never getting my dad back.

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

Connor: Hi Mom.

Mom:

Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!

I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.

Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!

I have a dad.

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?

Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.

Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?

Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."