When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
Dad Jokes
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
I have a dad.
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
