I wish me dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails

My friend told me an emo joke once and I said ¨emo jokes aren´t funny, cut it out¨

Friend: Why don’t you cut your hair? Me: Dunno, but i’ll probably cut my wrists first

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people’s feet and taking them.

It took my sole

Why do emos cut themselves?

To play noughts and crosses

How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole

why did Stephen hawking die? Because there was a power cut

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves

a guy cut me in the lunch line, after that a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Only if Onions were emo, they’d cut themselves


There were three indians that got kick out of the tride. One said “me find food” and he came back with a decent size rabit. The other two asked him what happened he said "me see rabit me shoot rabit and rabit fall down dead. The 2nd indian “me find food” he came back with a good sized deer the other two asked him what happened he said"me see deer me shoot deer deer fall down dead. The third indian said “me find food” he came back crwling mising a leg and an arm and he was all cut up the others anded what happened he said "me see train me shoot trai train no stop

Cats are like onions, when I cut them I crie.

if u cut off ur head u cant breathe u also cant breathe if u die so y isnt it debreathiation

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

My dad…came over late at night…he was drunk…he started telling me how useless I was…then I went to the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest 47 times…3 minutes later…he died…now I’m losing mind…and cutting myself…

Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut em’

What was the chip doing at the hairdressers? It was getting a crinkle cut

What did the Emo say to the surgeon ? “cut me please”

what has 4legs, than 3 legs, than 2 legs, than 1 leg, than no legs

a baby you cut one off each time