Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists? Nothing, I cut both of them

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer, that at least i can scan my worth at the supermarket.

Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs! Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie… But she still is in my basement, since she can’t run!

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little boy says, “That’s my little red race car.” 10 minutes later the boy looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little girl says, "that’s my little red race car garage.” So later that night the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She said yes and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit. Down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor, the mother asks "What happened?” the little girl says, “We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off.”

Did you hear about the guys hole left side got cut off! But he’s all right now

did you ear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? well, he’s dead.

knock knock

who’s there?

A murderer.

A murderer w-

is cut off by being murdered

When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”

You know those paper families you cut out? Well I put one of those in an orphanage.

whats the difference between onions and babys?

i cry when i cut onions.

How do you keep a mute women you’ve raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

How does the moon cut his hair…Eclipse it!!!

I wish my grass was edgy… then it would cut itself…

Why doesn’t Hellen Kellers kid have ears? She gave it it’s first hair cut!

I will remember my biker buddies last words ¨Why did you cut in front of me¨.

so this gu named andrew furda was my boy friend for like a half a week so five days then bam i cut my hair he only liked me for my looks and i hoped he regrets it because it is WAR so if u see dis u going down andrew!

What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights

a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers?

Brother; because their beautiful!

Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t.


I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo. Because then it would cut itself