Cut jokes
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Six Seven went to a barber shop. He asked the barber if he could have the "six seven" cut.
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.
Oooh, I fall apart. Oooh, yeah, mmhmm. She told me that I'm not enough, yeah, And she left me with a broken heart, yeah. She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah. She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah. Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah, And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah. Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!