Lady: I am going to come to your house.

Man: ok. An hour later, the lady is at the mans house. The man meets her outside of the house.

Man: you are going to cum to my house!

And then he fucks her.

One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really really horny. Jack who hadn’t stuck it in for a few weeks was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. “1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck” she said as she stroked his ever hardening one-eyed snake. “Yeah, i’ll have both of them” said Jack who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that they both contracted AIDS, and died of it as they did not see a doctor. THE END

What do condoms and whores have in common? Answer: There is a lot that cums in every box


your face with my cum

What is white and comes out after you have sex?


So if she garggles your cum… Is that a jacuzzi day care?!

my best friend said can you put your dick in me i said can i cum in u?

The priest wantes the little boy to touch his cross the boy said its hard then it shot out holy water and the priest said come again and taste the second cumming of jesus lmao

What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms??? Your mom!!!

A Boy asked his Dad : « Why didn’t you make love with my mom daddy ? » Dad : « Because I’m gay »

Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee

Son : « W- Wait a minute… So how did i exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight ? » Dad : « Because you are not real and i didn’t even have a wife »

The Son Waked Up from his horrible nightmare And He looked so scared, he did leave his bed to check out his dad but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house and he said to his son : « Why you did look so worried I’m just bringing some food for breakfast » Son : « Well but why your hands is full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) » Dad : « Because i did it with you last night i did you forgot … » Son : « But it was a nightmare … »

Dad turns into a monster

Dad : « I’m your nightmare »

The Son waked up and he seemed too scared and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.

The Son with himself: « Wake up btch wake up btch !!! »


What’s the difference between a zit and a priest, The zit waits tell your 12 to cum on your face

Which came first the chicken or the egg…

Eggs don’t cum

Swallow cum, not gum.

The best part of you ran down your mothers leg…Einstine got ready to climax while doing math but relized you cant cumtiyain cumtilion its after sucktillion fucktillion

What is white and comes out after you have sex?


What’s the difference between a priest and a zit? A: One waits until you’re twelve to cum on your face.

Why did the turkey suck my bacon because it wanted cum in its mouth

Why did the guy take a bath cuz he cum and it was too mess