Cum jokes
What's the difference between acne and the Pope?
Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
I cum (Can't understand math).
Just cum.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What is Sophia’s favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.