Culture

Culture jokes

Shit

  • This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.

    Man

  • A man found out that he was going to die.

    A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"

    Then he died and learned how to say no in German....

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  • Politics

  • What do British politics and transgender people have in common?

    Both aren't what they used to be...

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  • Suicide

  • A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

    "What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

    "There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

    The priest shakes his head.

    "Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

    "Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."

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  • Weed

  • Peaches-REMAKE-By-Justin Beiber and watersharky Music Productions-

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    And I see you (oh), the way I breathe you in (in), it's the texture of your skin

    I wanna wrap my arms around you, baby, never let you go, oh

    And I say, oh, there's nothing like your touch

    It's the way you lift me up, yeah

    And I'll be right here with you 'til the end

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    You ain't sure yet, but I'm for ya

    All I could want, all I can wish for

    Nights alone that we miss more

    And days we save as souvenirs

    There's no time, I wanna make more time

    And give you my whole life

    I left my girl, I'm in Mallorca

    Hate to leave her, call it torture

    Remember when I couldn't hold her

    Left her baggage for Rimowa

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I get the feeling, so I'm sure (sure)

    Hand in my hand because I'm yours

    I can't, I can't pretend, I can't ignore you're right for me

    Don't think you wanna know just where I've been, oh

    Done being distracted

    The one I need is right in my arms (oh)

    Your kisses taste the sweetest with mine

    And I'll be right here with you 'til end of time

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    (I get my light right from the source, yeah, yeah)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it).

    Disco

  • What does a disabled disco play?

    "When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

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  • Panda

  • Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat... Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!" Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"

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