The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
My favorite meme is, "N_gga."
What do you call a black person?
Dark humor.
What the sigma?
What is Mexican's favorite food? A taco.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
