Cry Jokes

"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

Little Mickel was on a tree.

He fell down and hurt his knee.

He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.

Me: Hey, are your parents here?

Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

A white dog with a slightly unnerving smile is in the middle of the image. The text above reads, "When someone is crying and you don't know what to do." The text below reads, "u want water?"

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

How do you stop a baby from crying?

You drown it.

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

Papa: Johnny, Johnny.

Johnny: Yes, Papa?

Papa: Open wide.

Johnny: HAHAHA.

Papa: *unzips pants*

Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!

Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."

"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.

"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."

The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"

The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.