Cry jokes

Why did the orphan start crying?

Because his apple found a home in his stomach.

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"

The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."

MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢

NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝

MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔

LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿

POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅

"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬

"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Would you like some wine with those French cries?

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD