Crime jokes
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?