Crime jokes
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
Rape victims suck, literally.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.