What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
