Crime jokes
What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
Memes
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"