Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
