Crime jokes
I groomed 2 minors today.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.