Crime jokes
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.