Crime jokes
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Hangman.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
My life #freemymanrkelly
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.