Crime jokes
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."
"Did I do that?"
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
Why did the rape victim cross the road?
Because she was a chicken!
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.