Crime jokes
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.