Crime jokes
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?
The white one actually did it!
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."