I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
