Crime jokes
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?
The finale.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
What's the difference between bounties and orphans?
The bounty is wanted.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?