Crime jokes
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
Paedophiles are f***ing immature assholes.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
Davin is a pedo.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
At night I became a mattress murderer.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
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