Crime jokes
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
Bill Cosplay
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.