Crime jokes
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
How many dead strippers does it take to change a light?
At least 13 because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.