Crime jokes
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.
Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?
Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.