Cow jokes
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
when my dad facetimes me
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.
And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
I lick cows for my mother.
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
"You're fat as a cow."
"......."
"Nope."
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?
"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.