Cow jokes
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.