"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
I give homework.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
Why did the cow smell?
'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Why do cows have big [udders]? Because they have big balls.
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?
Bye-son.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
