Country jokes
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
Russia.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?