New Country Jokes - Page 14 - Worst Jokes Ever

After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

What is the strongest weapon in India?

The red button (this is a fact).

What song genre do the national anthems fit into?

Country.

What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

A walkie-Torquay.

Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?

Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.

Which country makes me crack the fuck up?

LAUGHghanistan.

Afghanistan.

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.

What's India's favorite font?

Comic Sanskrit.

What are intelligent people in the US called?

"Tourist."

Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.

L: you

You: 😂

What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?

Afgan-I-Stand.

This city slicker broke down on a country road. He looked around, and in the distance, he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there, he asked the farmer if he had a phone he could use because his had no reception.

The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married, and the farmer said, "If you marry my daughter, I’ll give you half my farm..." The guy said, "Lemme see her..." The farmer hollered, “Hey you, get over here...” and she said, “Duh, ok.” The ol' boy looked at her and said, "Nooo thank you."

The father said, “I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....” The ol' boy thought for a minute and said, “Well I guess I can put a sack over her head.” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything.

One day the guy was up fixin' the roof and hollered, “Hey you, get me some nails...” His wife said, “Duh, nails, nails?” He said, “Yes, nails,” and showed her one. She said, “Oh, duh, nails, nails.” He said, “Yes, nails.” So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb, and he yells, “Oh F*** it!” and she turned and hollered, “Duh, a sack, a sack, duh, a sack!”