What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
If you hate America, I don't like you :)
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
America.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
