Conversation jokes
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Do you know Candice?
"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!