Conversation Jokes

Me: Knock, knock.

Other person: Who’s there?

Me: Atch.

Other person: Atch who?

Me: Bless you!

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

The image shows a text message exchange. The first message reads: "It's all good sweetheart, you don't have to worry about me." The response asks: "Sweetheart?" Then a message reads: "Is it okay if I call you that?" The answer is: "You can call me anything you like." The final message says: "Okay Optimus Prime."

Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!

Dad: Uh...

*hides his rifle*

Do you know Candice?

"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"

Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.

Nevermind, it's too cheesy!

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.