A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue." he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
the man saw a kid on the road and the man asked the man: where are your parents. the boy: ........ the man left the adoption centre
stop it said he
Jack: Hey Josh! Josh: What? Jack: Sex Josh: Huh? Jack: SEX!! Josh: I Don't Get It Jack: Exactly ;)
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA? A: Do these genes make my butt look fat?đŠ
The Drunk and a priest
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
What did one âď¸ cat đ say to the other? Happy đ
Bob: Siri, call 666! *dialing noises* Bob: Hello? Bob's dad: Hi!
Boy:crap I hit a deer Girl:awe...I guess Itâs not so much of a dear Boy:...
Boy:get the hell out
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
A retired george w bush is eating a donut 7/11 and looks at it "im so happy i did that' a guy over hears the conversation and says "your happy you bought that donut. Oh haha I would be too i love donuts!" george w bush then says "oh hahaha you caught me" and then says "you must of heard me wrong i said, im so happy i did 9/11"
Ashley said to me one day that what is my name and I said my name is everyday life of stupidity
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model....
me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying âLike ya cut gâ and slapping the neck. I slapped the wrist and said âLike ya cutâs gâ.
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes G
me: i have no bullet holes
emo kid: not yet you dont
me: ayo what the fuc*
A man was on the street and went up to a kid where rags the man asked "hey are you a orphan?" .The kid said "yea what gave me away?" the man said "your parents."
So two people are on a date and the guy says âwow you are so beautifulâ then the girl says âyou just want to have sexâ then the guy adds âSMART TO!â
what did the water say to the cup? good day!
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather. Good thing is, since he hit his head he can't remember either.
