Conversation jokes

What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."

If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

"Just say no to drugs!"

Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:

When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."

Bully: I wasn't talking to you.

Me: Then why are you listening?

Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

Or,

"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"

Knock knock. Who's there? Abajo. Abajo who? I have abajo of water with me.

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.

What did the rope say to me?

"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!

Hey woah man, and Alya how are you guys? Oh and hbu jk master? How is life right now? Is it hard? You wanna talk?

I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."

Bestfriend @3am: I love you.

Me: Love you too.

*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*

I don't know if this is funny.