Conversation jokes

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?

They'll say "yea."

Memories: I have ligma.

Ligma what?

Ligma balls.

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

Hi how are you?

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

"It's Sunday evening!"

"No. It's Monday eve."

Hi, how are you?

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."

So I replied, "No, it doesn't."

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!

P.S., it's Jake.

Hey, talk to me here!