Yesterday on the school bus my freind infront of me said she was 41% irish and 15% Mexican then my freind siting next to me said “wow almost half leprechaun” then I said “yeah and 15 percent wall climber”
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No..
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee Me: yeh, of course My Bff: ok which one Me: You know......the black one Me: like my soul... My Bff: jeez you ok
*You heard a conversation between sans and Papyrus
sans: "sub bro" Paps: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZELS!" sans: "easy bro, i have done a ton of work today" sans: "a skele-ton" (Drum effect) Paps: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Dad I'm hungry hi hungry I'm dad 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
Random guy: hi how old are you? Me:15 The guy: you're so young, age is just a number Me: do you know what else is a number? The guy: what? Me:911
friend: you are joking me: joking on deez nuts
so a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says "you cant be here"
and the mushroom says "why i'm a Fungi"
My friend had a drink called quick start so I said "that's a quick start to the morning".
Me: Hey Jim! Jim: I'm now a cannibal. Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
can anyone talk with me? bored...
I'm bored and I'm sure someone scrolling through here is too, so wanna chat? pls
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do I usually just want to talk, I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5 , I get shutdown so fast , I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring
A guy was annoyed in a store, I walk up to him and said, whats wrong buddy? don't worry it's not like you're on a abandoned Isle!"
Knock knock!! Whos there?? Dishwasher!! Dishwasher who?? Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today! Bob Weir: Where are you going? Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
iron man: where r u from? thor: asgard. iron man: do you mean ASS-GUARD?
People when you lover cheats on you do this!
1. start a conversation 2 say "whats that smell" 3. They will smell around 4. Say omg it's a b**** and walk away and ignore them
why did the boy ask a question to the girl
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when i was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled, Thats a THRILLER.
