Consumption jokes

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.

What do you eat out of?

- A bowl.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?

A Kinder Surprise.

I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.

Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.

What's the difference between apples and dead babies?

I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!

Candy is dandy.

But liquor is quicker.

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!

How do people eat bread?

If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.

Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.

I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.