Consumption jokes
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.
Mike Pence should have been eaten like Trump fans were saying!
How do people eat bread?
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Eat this, peppe.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Why does my mum eat carrots?
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?