What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
How do people eat bread?
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
Suck all the bread!
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
