Consumption jokes
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
Why does my mum eat carrots?
Suck all the bread!
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
Eat this, peppe.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?