Consequence jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
We forge the chains we wear in life.
Why did Techno die?
They broke his bed.
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓲𝓮.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.
Violence breeds violence, nothing else.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.