If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
Consequence Jokes
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Violence breeds violence, nothing else.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
