A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
We forge the chains we wear in life.
Why did Techno die?
They broke his bed.
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
Violence breeds violence, nothing else.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
