How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
My wife is a optimist our first night together she handed me a magnum xl condom. I didn’t know what to do so I made her a balloon animal 🎈 🦒
Your Birth Certificate is an apology from the Condom factory
The doctor says "your wife is PREGNENT" the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn't
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
what do you call a wet condom
a wet condom
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms??? Your mom!!!!!
whats worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called feetus deletus
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guys asshole?
He said “Fuck this shit!”
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
What’s the difference between women and condoms ?
There isn’t a difference they’re both throw aways.
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit? Frankie: Pineapple duh what's yours? Tyler: Pineapple Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there? Frankie: Right Now Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom? Frankie: Now enough talk let's fuck Tyler: I fought you never asked
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
Ones a good year the others a great year!
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
